“Understand tyself!” has been a leading wisdom for thousands of years, both in helping us grow as individuals (self-esteem, finding purpose, etc.), as well as in helping us create better relationships; for it is impossible to communicate effectively with those around you and maintain healthy relationships if you do not understand yourself – why do you behave as you do and why do you communicate as you do?Here’s an excerpts from my book (Communication Skills Magic), highlighting the importance of self-knowledge:
(Do understand that the concept of 4 personality/communication styles is based 100% on hundreds of years of science, with more empirical research done in the past decades on 100s of thousands of individuals, which resulted in creation of valid and reliable personality style assessments, such as the DiSC 2.0, DiSC PPSS, and many more…) 

“Sun Tsu (circa 544 -496 AD) in his timeless military strategy book ‘The Art of War’ said:  so it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.  [Sun Tzu, The Art of War. Shambhala, 2005]

Hence, Sun Tsu’s teaching translated into “relationship language” would be: If you understand the behavior those around you and understand your own behavior, you will avoid hundreds of conflicts; if you do not understand others but do know yourself, you will avoid some conflict and get drawn into some; if you do not understand others’ behaviors nor yours, you are doomed to spend most of your life in conflict and miscommunication.

Many participants in my seminars say that (one of) the greatest benefit they get from participating in my DISC presentation was primarily the better understanding of themselves – the realization that It is OK to be who I am – I am “normal, and this realization leads to a great sense of inner piece and self-acceptance. In many cases, this self-acceptance results in instant higher confidence levels due to understanding that there’s nothing wrong with me – I am not broken.

[Through understanding thes concepts layed out in the book, you] become more aware of your strengths and learn how you can capitalize on them; as well as get to face some of your weaknesses and learn to better accept them or use this new knowledge to work towards improving some weaker areas.

So, let’s get started and find out, first of all, what is YOUR behavioral/personality style; which, in turn, will help you get a better understanding of your behavioral tendencies and communication style.

Take a few minutes now to review a brief description of the four styles, and check the one that you feel describes you most closely.

 

_____ Dominance (D) Style (Fast Paced/Task Oriented )

D style individuals are characterized by fast pace, fast rate of speech, a strong desire of being in charge, and are highly focused on accomplishing goals and completing tasks. On the job, they are the ones who lead by example, while also will push everyone to perform and leave little room for personal chit-chat. They know what they want, they go for it, and they expect those around them to do the same. D style individuals are goaloriented, process driven, and often turn out to become real achievers. At times, due to their drive to accomplish goals and their high focus to complete the tasks they work on, they are perceived as cold, pushy, inpatient, and as having little consideration for the feelings of those around them. D’s try to avoid, whenever possible, routine work, and environments where they are not given the freedom to be in charge (at least) of their own actions, and are not allowed to move at their own (fast) pace. (See a more detailed description of the D – Dominance Style – in Chapter 4)

High I style individuals are characterized by fast pace – both in actions and speech – and a love to socialize. I style individuals are easily recognized by their high energy levels, enthusiasm, and their openness to interaction with others at any moment of the day. They tend to almost constantly smile and be ready to share a joke, a (humorous) story, or listen to others’ stories (even though, listening is not their main strength – they rather talk than listen). They come across as friendly, enthusiastic, and passionate; and at times can be perceived as fake (too much smiling and enthusiasm) and tiring (too much talking).  I’s style individuals dislike environments where they are not given the freedom to interact with others, have to perform routine and detail-oriented activities, or are not given a chance for quick and regular recognition.  (See a more detailed description of the I – Influence Style – in Chapter 5) 

_____ Steadiness (S) Style (Moderate Paced/People Oriented)

High S style individuals are characterized by being moderate paced – both in speech rate and physical movement – and by a strong tendency to support others. S style individuals enjoy being around people, and due to their tendency of being more thoughtful and caring, they are great listeners and come across as friendly and warm. S style people are calm, amiable, and supportive.  They are perceived by many to be the sweetest people in the world and most of us enjoy having them around us.  Due to their calm, cautious, and hesitant nature, at times they can come across as being a bit slow at performing certain tasks and slow at making decisions.

S style individuals will often try to avoid fast-paced environments with unpredictable work schedules, and will stay away as much as possible from any situations where they would have to put up with regular conflict or otherwise stressful situations.. (See a more detailed description of the S – Steadiness Style – in Chapter 6)

_____ Conscientiousness (C) Style (Moderate Paced/Task Oriented)

 High C Style individuals are characterized by being cautious, moderate paced, and highly task oriented. C style individuals enjoy working individually or with a small group of other C style individuals.  They like getting deeply involved in performing tasks and do not like to be interrupted while working. They tend to be very particular about doing an excellent job and are very organized. Due to their natural tendency to be analytical and questioning, C style individuals are great in any area where accuracy and precision is needed.  To the other three styles, C style individuals can at times come across as distant, perfectionist, and overly nit-picky.

 C style individuals will try to avoid fast-paced environments where they’d have to make quick decisions, spend most of their time on social niceties, and where they would have no time to plan carefully their days.  (See a more detailed description of the C – Conscientiousness Style – in Chapter 7)

 
Important!

The DISC Behavioral Model does not suggest that we are stuck in one behavioral style or another (!).  It is designed to raise awareness of our behavioral tendencies; then use this knowledge to take control – or gain acceptance – of our weaknesses and limitations, while focusing on capitalizing on our strengths.”

 To get started creating more successful relationships, Click Here! – Paper Back 
(with instant download of the eBook version)

This entry was posted on August 30, 2010 at 12:37 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Posted in Elements of Effective Communication by admin No Comments Yet